There is a disturbing trend arising and it wouldn’t necessarily seem disturbing on the surface, but when you realize what exactly is happening you will see just how disturbing it is.
Everyone appreciates a compliment, but putting someone on a pedestal for something that should be the norm is just wrong. I’m talking about fathers getting praise for doing the same exact duties that when a mother does them they go unnoticed.
I didn’t realize it that much at first since I spend time with my kids because I love them and I share the parenting responsibilities with my wife. I was reading a blog from Daddy Doin’ Work and he brought up this excellent point. Are dads really so bad these days to the point when a father does his normal fatherly duties it deserves praise? Does it really only take a simple task to turn a deadbeat dad into father of the year? This has to stop.
I actually had to refer to Kelpie for an instance because I don’t pay attention to what people say when I’m in public, good or bad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mean about it. I just don’t need my parenting skills and decisions to be approved or shunned by random strangers. There was a time when we were eating at Kelpie’s favorite place, IKEA, and someone complimented me on how I was a good father/husband because I was holding my baby girl while Kelpie was eating her food. Maybe it was because I wasn’t complaining about it or that I wasn’t just sitting there eating my food while she struggled to take care of the children while she ate. That’s not something I would let happen and maybe that’s what’s wrong with fathers these days. And if Kelpie was to do the same, and I’m sure she has, she wouldn’t get a second glance.
If something as simple as that deserves praise then the bar has been set far too low for fathers. It’s time for Dads to step up and shoulder their responsibilities. And at the same time Mothers need to stop settling for less. Now I know that can be a hard thing to do, especially with all the double standards about how men work all day and need their alone time when they get home so women should be on duty around the clock. There shouldn’t be an excuse from fathers like, “I worked all day so I need to rest”. Chances are the mother worked just as hard, if not harder, to take care of the children.
I myself am not a career driven person. I like my job just fine but I don’t live for it. I live for my family. I would do anything for them. Right now I’m in a position to work so Kelpie can stay at home and take care of the kids and I love her for it. I know she would gladly reverse the roles, but it’s not feasible at this time. I work so that I can provide for my family and when I get home I get to spend time with them.
I’ve tried not to rant too much here but this has been on my mind since I read the blog. So listen up dads: show your family that you appreciate them! Take the kids out with you to the store or stay home with the kids while Mom goes out so she can get a break. It’s the little things that add up. Your wife will notice, your kids will notice, and your family will be happier!