Hey my lovelies! So I have another author spotlight for you…yay! And this chick…dude! She may the the funniest person I’ve ever met in my life. Seriously. Our Facebook convos are…interesting. :) Yeah, that’s the word I’ll use…. *side eyes*
She is like a Legend (yes, the capital L was intentional) in the Kittyinaz beta group and is always there when anyone needs her. In short, she’s awesome. Yeah, I can’t heap enough praise in the small amount of time I have to do this. You’d never get to the interview. So yeah, let’s hear from her. :)
Let’s start with an introduction. I’m Kelly, or as more people know me, Kelpie. (You spelled “Awesome!” wrong.)
And you are?
I’m commonly referred to as Meridian although I’m known to answer to “Empress of the Universe”, and sometimes a plain old “Your Majesty” as well.
So, tell me a little about yourself.
What? I gotta get creative ALREADY?? *hrumph*
I am very strongly opinionated (about a surprising number of things), and pandering to the masses (and whiners) goes contrary to my nature. So does that “following the herd” mentality.
Naturally I love it when people agree with me – who wouldn’t? – but I believe that everyone is freely entitled to their own opinions. You know that whole “agree to disagree” thing? Love it.
Ok, after all that, if any brave readers are left, here goes: I’m an incredibly open person who is gloriously obsessed with privacy. Yes, this makes life more complicated than you might think. Oh, and I’m a grumpy, hyper-realistic, sarcastic coffee addict who detests society as a whole but who tends to tolerate individuals rather well some days. (Translation: “people” suck but some individuals might not.)
What do you do with yourself when you’re not writing?
I make numerous lists and plan to get many things done then waste my time online – it’s a talent. Toss in the ubiquitous reading, cooking, eating (hey, you do it too), walking the dog, building things, tearing things apart, researching things, tending to the cats, managing things, plotting world domination (don’t judge), sleeping…yeah, come to think of it, I’m pretty damn boring, actually.
What are some things you never leave home without?
My sanity, my powers of reason and deduction, and my pepper spray. Srsly, don’t step between me and my coffee.
What are some of your favorite books?
There are far too many to list, honestly. The shorter category would be “beloathed books”. (“Beloathed” really should be a word.)
Favorite TV shows and movies?
I’m going retro here since I really don’t like most of the new shit defiling our TV and movie screens:
Movies: I can’t sit still that long. I’ll either get bored with a crappy unrealistic plot line, start getting fidgety, or have to go pee.
TV: MacGyver reruns, True Blood (yeah, it’s campy as fuck, but damn, Eric Northman and Godric…so, yeah, where were we?) Oh, yeah, ok, um… Agatha Christie’s Poirot, Sherlock Holmes (the ones with Jeremy Brett in them, natch, although Bendybach Cumminabunch was kind of awesome too until he got all engaged and shit), Midsomer Murders… I’m sure there are more but I’m boring and it isn’t worth researching.
If you were stranded on a deserted island and had 3 famous people with you, who would you choose and why?
Do they have to be real? Because if not, I’d totally enlist Godric, Eric Northman, and Tony Stark – Tony to push a locator button to call one of his planes to our location while I was off communing in night-time nature with my buddies. And, if Tony’s tech didn’t work, Godric and Eric could always fly us off that island, too. (Stop drooling ladies and gents…we’re out of paper towels.)
Real people: Living: Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Neil deGrasse Tyson (dunno why we always have to use his middle name). Why? Well, people would miss them and be sending help FAST, plus you do remember those world domination plans, right? *wink*
Real people: Dead: None…they’re all dead and I’m not a fan of skeletons which wouldn’t be all that helpful in getting off that damn island.
What is 1 place you’d love to visit?
Asgard or Fangtasia…either/or…
IRL? Sweden (or Iceland). For Science! (and because it’s pretty)
Do you have any pet peeves?
IRL? Too many to list. Srsly. Just ask my friends. It goes well with being an overly-opinionated mouthy bitch.
Regarding fanfics: I cringe when writers call their sex scenes “lemons”. Sex scenes are not fruits – they are sex scenes, and if you can’t call a sex scene a sex scene, then maybe you shouldn’t be writing sex scenes…because they are sex scenes…not pieces of fruit.
*Sips at coffee angrily – hey, I’ve practiced this move! It’s all suave and cool and awesome now!*
I also have fic peeves about dudes fingering women then leaving slime trails up the women’s bodies and…yeah, basically I have far too many fic pet peeves. That’s sadly just one of many reasons why I don’t read that many fics any more.
What are some of your favorite foods? How ‘bout comfort foods?
Ok, skipping from slime trails to food… (I just REALLY hope the dude brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth after lapping at her twat juice and before kissing her.)(Really…now you see why it’s a peeve of mine…)
Yeah, um, food, right:
Olives, cheeses, cured meats, sardines, pecans, crab legs with hot melted salty butter, KFC’s weird ‘chicken’ gravy with their mashed potatoes, Reuben’s (the sandwich), pizza with “all the meats”, braised asparagus, lima beans in salty butter (hey, love me some limas!), jambalaya, scallops, a decent steak is nice, um…nothing prepared by a TV pseudo-chef…
What’s your favorite scent-one that says “home” to you?
Clean linens, tobacco smoke, coffee, and…pets…
What kind of music do you like? Any you absolutely can’t stand?
I detest all rap, jazz, and country…most else is fine.
Tell me one random thing about yourself.
I’m allergic to lobster.
Just for some insight into you pick one. Feel free to tell why or not.
Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla – I’m allergic to chocolate, too. No wonder I’m bitchy.
Silver or gold? Both! But, if I had to choose, gold because it’s a warmer tone usually.
Apple or PC? PC – Apple annoys the shit out of me.
White wine or red wine? Neither – wine is a terrible thing to do to an innocent little grape.
Liquor or beer? Liquor – beer tastes nasty except for one Guinness a year.
Coffee or tea? COFFEE FOREVER!!! (Although I’m known to cheat on coffee with green teas.)
Sleep in or get up early? What does “get up early” mean?
Okay, now for the good stuff.
What are your preferred fandoms for writing/reading?
What kind of environment do you write in?
I prefer writing on my PC (wide screen and real keyboard) at my writing table in my kitchen. Hey, it’s close to the coffee…
Ever write in your PJs?
How ’bout naked?
Why would I do that? Well, I’m always naked under my underwear, though – does that count?? And my feet are totally naked in my socks…
Where do you find inspiration for your stories? Do you pull your real life experiences into your writing?
My inspiration generally comes from seeing a scene in my head that I write either “to” or “from”. After that, it’s up to me to put that scene down on virtual paper and make it as realistically possible as I can given that my favorite characters are vampires… Music helps inspire those images, and so does washing dishes by hand (believe it or not).
Do you put real life into your stories?
Real life events that have happened to me? Nah, readers don’t want to read about me. I’m as boring as cold pancakes.
Realistic events made as rational and true-to-real-life as possible? Sure!! I’ve rolled my eyes and dropped fics far too many times over unrealistic events being portrayed in excruciatingly unbelievable ways to let that kind of thing seep any farther into my own writing than I can possibly help. I’m sure it’s there – I’m by far not a perfect writer – but I do try to mitigate it whenever I catch it.
Do you write on a schedule?
Define this “schedule” of which you speak… Not really, and in fact have a warning stated in my various profiles that updates will be sporadic so that readers are warned.
Do you plan out your stories or just write whatever comes to you?
I plan them somewhat…then my muse laughs her flighty little ass off at me and I then go from chapter to chapter.
Do you have any writing rituals or superstitions?
*pfft* Whut? Neva… *hides blessed sea salt, sage, and dragon’s blood ink behind back*
Is one genre easier for you to write than another? Is there anything that you just aren’t that great at writing?
I detest writing a fight scene. Torture of the bad guys is much more fun.
What is the hardest part for you about writing fanfics?
Motivation. I can have a scene detailed to that nth degree in my mind, but it isn’t going to happen until/unless I’m motivated to plop my ass down and write it.
Is there a method for coming up with titles for your stories and/or chapters?
In general I will NOT fall for that whole “name your chapters” thing. The story gets a title and it can damn well be happy with that, lol. Sometimes a particular chapter WILL shout a title at me, but if I title one, then I’d have to waste time coughing up titles for all the little bastards, and honey, I ain’t got time for that, lol.
Which character do you identify with the most?
Honestly, whichever one I’m writing at the moment. That POV or character, even in chapters where the POV will naturally shift, has to come first at that moment. If he or she doesn’t, then I’m fakin’ it, and that will always show in the writing.
Which of your stories is your favorite to write and why? Which of your stories is your favorite concept wise?
Picking a favorite WIP would be like trying to pick a favorite child. They’re all my favorites or I wouldn’t have started writing them. Now, that being said, there will naturally be parts of stories that give me fits plot-wise (just like a teenage kid I would imagine), but that’s just how it goes.
Do you talk to your family about your writing?
Not really, I just get on with the writing.
What is your favorite book/episode in your preferred series?
I will always adore the first 8 SVM books and enjoy pretending that nothing at all came after the 9th book… In True Blood, I love the Amnesia Eric sections where things between Eric and Sookie weren’t disgustingly overly-dramatic. They were sweet, sexy, and cute together…and I miss that.
What is the best compliment you’ve ever received on your stories?
*dons bragging hat* I have actually managed to sway hard-set Andre-loathers over to the Andre-lovers side! #GoMe! I’ve also been told by several people that they’ve created accounts just to comment/review on my stories, so that’s a huge ego stroke, too. But I guess the biggest compliment in a way would be when Guests (over on the reviled FF account) send great reviews on one-shots knowing that I can’t thank them either in the next chapter which won’t be coming or via PM like I do with logged-in reviewers. I think that’s pretty fucking awesome.
How do you deal with the inevitable criticism?
Tell them to find someone else to read. Fukkem – it ain’t like they’re payin’ MY bills!
What is your favorite/least favorite part about your preferred fandoms?
I both love and loathe SVM/TB.
I love it because I find that type of vampire fascinating, and the characters – when they’re held more true to either books or show – are great to read and write. I love writing a Sookie who is somewhat smarter and more accepting than her origins, and an Eric who is slightly more communicative and laid-back than his origins.
However, I loathe that a small handful of fic writers have decided that Eric has to be some sort of over-sexed, abusive, silly Dom character, and I can only sit back and laugh and wonder just how small his penis and deformed balls must be to them. I will also never understand why anyone would want to throw Sookie (or any other ‘good’ character) under the rape/torture/abuse bus, either. If they don’t like Sookie or Eric, maybe they should consider finding someone else to write, maybe a pairing they actually like and would enjoy writing?? I dunno – that’s just my (miffed because I’m lacking chocolate?) opinion.
Hey, you asked!!! Lol, sadly this is what you get when you ask an honest person for their honest opinions…
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?
Just shut the fuck up and do it. Srsly. Whining around about it, procrastinating about it, and talking it to death does not get shit done. So: just shut the fuck up and start writing.
Have any recommendations?
Not really. I don’t like fics packed with smut or fucktons of unnecessary sex or drama or angst, or where Sookie is tossed under every rape/abuse/humiliation/torture bus the writer could dig up, and I find an abusive “Dom Eric” both hilariously silly and in direct contrast to both his SVM and TB characterizations, therefore many general readers probably wouldn’t like my choices as much as I do.
Since all people have their own preferences, they should research their genre’s writers and see what kind of niche they like the most. There are many, many writers out there – some of them AMAZING – so everyone should be able to find something.
All that being said, I will add when I’m in a writing mode as I am now, I don’t read very many fics in my fandom. Now, for better or for worse I do hear ALL about them…, but I chose to not read them because either they don’t appeal in the least anyway, or I’m afraid of letting their plots seep into mind and I’m strongly against plagiarism whether intentional or not. But, when I do read friend’s works, I’ll leave comments/reviews on the chapters that I’ve liked. So, if you see me “there”, then you’ll know! :D
And lastly, where can all your rabid readers stalk you?
I have rabid readers? Awesome!! *waves to the crowd with a really, really bad imitation of The Princess Wave and tosses out Cheetos and donuts*
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer some questions!
You are very welcome, and thank you for taking the risk with my overly honest mouth and asking me. Some of these questions were surprisingly thought-provoking, and I enjoyed that! You so rock!!
And there you have it folks! Like I said, she rocks in the best way possible. And I probably wouldn’t have gotten so involved with the fandom or in the Kittyinaz beta group if it wasn’t for her. She just kinda sucked me in and wouldn’t let me go. Which was a nice feeling. :) So yeah, she’s got some awesome fics going and you should really go read. Leave her some love to cause she absolutely thrives on it. :)))