PSA Thursday

Hey darlins!

So, Mortal Instruments stuff is the least popular thing on this blog since most of my readers are more focused on TB/SVM and OUAT. Understandable since more TMI fans tend to be a little younger and because I only recently started focusing on it. However, that makes finding good fics kinda hard if I’m spotlighting one a week.

I’ve also noticed an uptick in personal strife/issues among people I follow on various platforms. So I’m gonna start this PSA Thursday maybe one Thursday a month. The blog I wrote awhile ago- You Are Not Alone -was one of the highest viewed on this blog. People don’t talk about the hard stuff, especially with people they only know on the internet. Which, in turn, makes people who have lots of internet friends feel like they can’t talk about it. Vicious cycle.

So, I’m gonna face my own demons here to maybe try to help someone. I know I’ve had people message me wondering how I do all the spotlights and everything while I have a family. I *must* be ridiculously upbeat and have tons of energy to do something every single day.

…..no. Actually for the last few months I’ve been entrenched in the worst bout of anxiety and depression I’ve had in years. I mean since before I even met Mr. Kelpie kinda years. So it’s good/bad to know I’m fooling so many people. Hell, I’m such a great actress I fool people I see everyday.

There is no shame in being depressed. There is no shame in having anxiety. There’s no shame in having any mental illness. Would you be ashamed for having the flu? Or allergies? (Which I actually have been battling as well, and they suuuuuuuuck!) I even started seeing a therapist again, something I was loathe to do but needed to be done.

When this started, I began sinking back into all those destructive behaviors I talked a bit about last time. I have to consciously remind myself to eat. A) Because I actually don’t want to and B) Because when I’m depressed my body image issues come back full force. I’m still nursing Little Miss and absolutely stopped seeing any progress at the gym. So I feel pudgy and gross. Not eating is something I know. Something I am (unfortunately) very good at. It’s very easy to slip back into it.

Thankfully I haven’t even felt the urge to self harm, but it’s there, lurking in the back of my head. I know it is. If this depression keeps spiraling, it’s only a matter of time before those thoughts begin whispering in my ear.

Y’all have probably noticed I haven’t written anything of my own in…gah no idea even how long. I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating that it.

If this is something you’re struggling with in your own life, just remember- you’re not alone. I will talk to anyone who needs it-all you have to do is contact me through any of the innumerable sources I have listed everywhere. If there is any issue y’all want me to focus on, please let me know. If it’s not something I’m personally familiar with I will still do my best to highlight the issue with respect. There is no reason anyone in this world should feel that they have nowhere to turn and no one to listen. :)

And before anyone even says it-I’m not brave. Dragging my issues into the spotlight isn’t brave or selfless or any of the accolades laid upon me last time. This is simply me  trying to help. Nothing more, nothing less. Cause I love you all. ♥

Until next time lovelies!

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “PSA Thursday”

  1. I can relate, sort of, with the depression. Unfortunately it runs on the paternal side of the family. I’ve been thinking, seriously thinking, of getting the semi-colon tattooed on my body somewhere visible as a reminder that it isn’t the end of the world when the dark time hits, as it inevitably does starting in November and finally letting up in April.
    Some times, during that dark time, it’s all I can do to get out of bed and go to work each morning but I do it anyway and just keep plugging along and make sure I do get my daily dose of sunshine.
    You take care of you, we’ll still be here on the flip side. If you don’t take care of yourself then you can’t take care of the little, and not so little, ones and that would be a shame because I know how much you love them just from the time or two we’ve chatted.
    If you need a virtual ear or shoulder just give a nudge. My messenger and email are always open even if it might take a few hours to get back to you (having to work sucks sometimes but then again sometimes that’s the only reason I have to get out of bed in the morning since my little ones are no longer little and are out in the working world now).
    If you’re looking for some help with Spotlights maybe try Lady Anachronism. She wrote a review for Swimming To the Light not too long ago that was spot on. I spoke with her via comments afterward and she is looking for ways to be a little more involved and I think giving fresh perspective on stories, new and old, would be a perfect way to get her feet wet.
    I have a bit of a bright spot for you today :). I was on my way to work this morning and traffic was stopped in a construction zone (no surprise there) but it wasn’t for construction traffic. Nope, it was so a gaggle of geese could cross the street AT A CROSS WALK! lol I wanted to take a pic but my phone wasn’t where it was supposed to be and then traffic started moving again before I could find it :(.
    Go take care of yourself, feed you and the kidlets and give them a hug. That always made me feel better.
    The last finished story you wrote was the one shot Limes and Coconuts but I believe you updated Behind the Cameras after that.

    Liked by 1 person

What'd You Think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s