The low rumble of a voice stirred me out of sleep and I groaned. I’d made sure to impress upon Claude the importance of sleep before we’d finally passed out. He’d definitely need to be punished.
“It’s too early for this, Baby. Go back to sleep.” I turned my head to smile at my newfound boyfriend-
“Good morning, honey!”
FUCK! I threw myself backward, tumbling off the bed in a bundle of blankets and pillows.
“Mom?! What the hell are you doing in here?!”
Claude and my mom grinned down at me identically. Frankly it was sort of creepy, especially when I noticed how little of me had actually remained covered.
I may have let out an extremely girlish and undignified noise as I flailed helplessly, trying to pull the sheet back around my waist from my spot on the carpet.
“Oh, relax Godric. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I used to bathe you, plus your father and I still have an extremely active sex life-”
Ahhh! No! Too much fucking information! About the fucking. Of my parents. Oh God, no!
I could see Claude chuckling as I covered my ears and made…some sort of noise. Honestly, I think she broke my brain.
Mom turned away dramatically and waved her arm behind her as I slowly lowered my hands. I scowled as I scrambled back up on the bed, almost diving under the duvet as Claude held it up for me.
“I’m sorry we woke you. Claudine was just making sure that I didn’t have any allergies before she made breakfast.” His strong arms wound around my shoulders and I felt the tension leach out of me as I snuggled up with him.
“Oh, honey! I thought I told you to call me Mom!”
Oh dear Lord! This was highly amusing when she was barging in on Roman and Thalia back in the day or Eric and Sookie or Alex and…whoever he chose to bring home on any given day. But it was decidedly less funny when she made up her mind to embarrass me.
“Moooooooom!” Claude chuckled again at my groan, then pressed a kiss to the side of my head.
“Just wait. My mom’s pretty much a clone of yours. I’ve just given up on embarrassment.”
Mom giggled. “I told Linda y’all would fit in just fine around here.”
“I give up. I’m going back to sleep.” I pressed a grudging kiss against Claude’s lips, much to my mother’s delight, and shuffled myself down the bed. I flipped over, momentarily struggling with a raging case of morning wood I’d just noticed, and buried my head under the numerous pillows. On second thought… “Oh and Mom?”
“Hmmm?” Yeah, she looked like she had no intention of leaving any time soon. My new boyfriend would quickly be my ex-boyfriend if she kept this shit up.
“Next time, pleeeeeeease wait until we’re actually out of bed before you come barging in. Thank you and get out.”
Their laughter was muffled as I shoved myself back under the fluffy pillows and I slung my arms over Claude’s lap lazily.
Either she’d leave or they’d continue talking. I really couldn’t muster up the energy to care at that point.
x . x . x . x . x
The bed was cold. First Mom wakes me up at some ungodly hour, then she steals my boyfriend right out of my bed.
I scowled as I hauled my ass up and glanced around the room. Wow, we’d made a mess. I wrapped the sheet around my waist as I stood and crossed the room to my closet. Despite living in the same room with Roman and Eric for years without modesty, I’d lost my nerve in the wake of…no. Not gonna think about him when I have Claude.
I quickly grabbed a pair of boxers, lounge pants and a T-shirt and crossed to the bedroom door. There was no noise in the hallway, so I cracked the door slightly and peeked out. Coast was clear. Now I just needed to get to the bathroom without anyone noticing me…
Fuuuuuuuck! I paused midstep and glared over my shoulder.
“Hey, Sparkles. Know anything about Mom busting in on me this morning?”
Alex grinned widely as he leaned against the wall outside my open door. “Oh that was Zoe that squealed. She saw you and Claude sneaking off. She also saw Claude pinch your ass, which she just thought was hilarious!”
Ooops. “Oh. Well that’s…wonderful. Is there still breakfast downstairs?”
“Yeah, Mom saved you some. But you might wanna go save your new guy. She’s force feeding him pancakes and coffee.” Shit! Yeah, I could skip the shower.
I turned back to my room, intent on changing and rescuing my beau as fast as I could when Alex poked his head in, a smirk pulling up the corners of his mouth. “Oh and Mom said to open a window. She doesn’t want the sex funk to linger.”
………I stared in open mouthed shock as the little twerp turned and sauntered down the hall. Well, that was…oh dear lord. I dropped the sheet and yanked on my clothes as fast as I possibly could. There’s no telling what my Mom would do next!
11: 36 am
Mmmmmmm. A whole night alone with Eric, knowledge that Zoe was perfectly safe all night and the ability to sleep in after our…activities the night before. This was a life I could definitely get used to.
It was…different…having so much help with Zoe. I mean, Jesus and Lala were always there, of course, but this huge outpouring of love and support for us was slightly overwhelming.
My mind shuddered to a halt as I felt lips softly caress the back of my neck and I shifted slightly to nestle further under the blankets.
“I can hear your mind whirling away, Lover. What could possibly be so important that you feel the need to be awake so early?”
“Early? It’s almost noon, Eric!” I twisted around and smacked his bicep lightly as he chuckled. “Come on. I need to rescue your family from mine.”
“Urgh!” His groan followed me as I left the bed and crossed to the dresser where Eric had thoughtfully stashed my clothes. “I hardly think that’s necessary. Our families are equally insane. Except for maybe Thomas. He’s a nutter.”
I choked on a laugh as I pulled up some lacy boyshorts. At the abrupt throat clearing behind me I smiled and wiggled my ass for my boyfriend as he growled low in his throat.
“Nuh uh. Don’t even think about it.” I mock glared over my shoulder and oh so maturely stuck my tongue out. “You just get that fantastic ass out of bed and put some clothes on it.”
“Ooooooh!” He threw the covers off and stretched out in all his naked glory. Wow. I blinked owlishly as my mouth filled with saliva. That bastard knew exactly what he was doing to me. He slowly flipped himself onto his stomach and landed a loud smack right on that prize winning ass. “So you think my ass is fantastic, huh?”
Like he didn’t know. My hands only seemed to be glued there every chance they got. I didn’t dignify that with a response, purely so I didn’t inflate his already extremely large ego. Claudine and Coleman had done a wonderful job at making sure their kids had confidence.
I clipped my bra on and tugged out some scrubby clothes for lounging around the big house. Eric let out an extremely put upon huff and I heard the sheets swish as he hauled himself out of bed. His huge hand left a red print on my ass as he gave me a swat and I wrinkled my nose at the undignified squawk that made it’s way out of my mouth.
His returning snort just made me smile wider. This is all I’d ever wanted and all I’d never dared to let myself hope for. Someone who I could laugh with and be playful, yet still have intimacy and gentleness. Someone who accepted me and my daughter, someone who I could be myself around-inelegant, unladylike snorting and all. And that damn fine ass didn’t hurt anything either.
Twenty minutes later we were dressed and making our way across the patio sans shoes. I could already hear the laughter from the house and it made my heart squeeze with some emotion that I couldn’t recall ever feeling before. Eric pulled the patio door open and ushered me inside, his large hand resting lightly on the small of my back.
Aunt Linda glanced our way as the door opened and dropped the biscuit she’d had halfway to her mouth as she squealed. “Oh honey!”
Uh…I cast a glance up at Eric, who admittedly looked completely perplexed and slightly freaked out.
“What’s up?” If my voice was infused with a certain level of sass, it totally wasn’t my fault.
“I’m just so glad to see you!”
I grinned and left Eric’s side to give my aunt a hug. “Oh, chill out Crazy Lady! You saw me like twelve hours ago and I was just across the patio.”
“Psh. I know. But you’re the nice one in the family and I need you to reign Claudette in. She’s about to make Thomas cry, the poor dear.”
Eric’s gut busting laugh drew Alex and a very sulky looking Godric into the kitchen, their eyebrows raised nearly identically.
“So he finally released you from his clutches?”
I smacked Alex lightly on the arm as he fished a Coke out of the fridge and retreated back to wherever he’d come from, his middle finger waving over his shoulder.
“Hey, Baby Doll. How you doing this…afternoon?”
Unc wrapped me in a hug from behind and I twisted to return the affection with a smile on my face. “Pretty good. Got some good sleep, especially after those fucking fireworks.”
“I still can’t believe you don’t like fireworks. What kind of short circuit happened in your brain?” Godric’s voice held an epic pout and I raised an eyebrow as I cocked my hip.
“Well, those are two entirely different questions.” Eric chuckled as he caged me against the counter from behind, his hands resting lightly on my hips. “The fireworks thing is-”
“Oh God, here we go! Why’d you have to get her started again?! Just cause you were off glazing the donut with my son shouldn’t mean we have to listen to this again!” Unc rolled his eyes good naturedly at Godric’s extremely red face as he nearly sashayed from the kitchen. Aunt Linda excused herself much more politely and giggled as she followed her husband.
I huffed in annoyance. “Basically my brother is a complete asshole. One year when I was about ten, he-”
A glass shattering shriek broke my train of thought and Eric and I exchanged a glance before we took off. We followed the continued shrieking and general roar of noise upstairs to Alex’s…cave. Seriously, that was the only way to describe his little corner of the house.
“What the hell is going on here?!”
All eyes swung my way as I planted my hands on my hips in my best ‘mommy’ pose.
“Look Mommy! Princess Alex made me a giraffe!”
I followed my daughter’s pointed finger to the huge TV mounted on the wall and burst into hysterical laughter.
“Sooks! Dis ain’t funny!”
“What? What’s the-” Eric’s voice trailed off as he took a closer look at Alex and Zoe’s Minecraft world. “What the fuck is that?!?”
“Daddy! I just told you! It’s a giraffe!”
Jesus sidled up to me as Eric moved forward-probably to kill Alex. And Lafayette looked more than happy to help him.
“How did you end up with someone just as uptight about our daughter as Lala?”
I shrugged as Jesus wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Dunno. Hey Jase?”
My brother looked up from his phone as he leaned against the wall, a slight frown on his otherwise handsome face. “You’ve got your thinking face on. What’s up?”
“Aw nuthin’. Thalia just sent me a text. Apparently there’s a problem with one of our orders.”
Godric and Claudine’s heads whipped around at Jason’s words and I glanced toward Jesus. He just shrugged and I let it go. My brother glanced up at the assembled group and the utter rage painted across Eric and Lala’s faces.
“Hey Zoe? Wanna come with me and talk to Thalia? I gotta call her about some work stuff, but I know she’d love to talk to you.”
My daughter bounced up from her spot on the couch and nearly bowled Jason over as she raced to talk to one of her favorite people. I grinned to myself. Then I turned my eyes back to the only kind of fireworks I could stand to watch.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing making a huge fucking dick jizzing into a hole in the ground?!? For my daughter!!”
I had to stuff my fist into my mouth to stifle the laughter trying to break free. Jesus was in a similar predicament as we watched Eric and Lala gang up on Alex.
“Oh chill. She doesn’t even know what it is. Remember, it’s her giraffe. Calm your asses down.” Alex turned on the sofa and raised an eyebrow toward Jesus and I. “Do either of y’all have a problem?”
We shook our heads and smiled brilliantly as our respective partners glared at us.
Seriously, they needed to chill or I might strangle them both.
Great. I could hear Lafayette yelling about something corrupting his innocent little angel. When Eric joined in I rolled my eyes.
“Are we done here, then?”
My lovely twin rolled his eyes and tapped his toe on the polished hardwood floor. “Are you going to behave like you’re a decent human being and have some manners? I mean, I know it’s not true and you’re an evil manipulative bitch, but Mom and Dad don’t want anything to ruin this for Sook. And frankly I don’t want you scaring my boyfriend off. So shut your fucking piehole and behave.”
“Oh yes, dear brother of mine! I love to make your sex life easier. That’s my only goal in life.” My voice would’ve probably scared any reasonable person, but eh. This was Claude. He could pretend to be all lovely, but he was the same as me. Twins shared more than they’d usually care to admit.
“Perfect! I’m gonna go rescue my darling from the madness over a Minecraft penis. Toodles!”
A Minecraft what?? I’ve never been more glad to have no idea what the hell was going on.
“So, now that your brother has presumably talked some sense into that delightfully gorgeous head of yours, that means I can take you out tonight, correct?”
Fuck, shit, fuck! I spun around and eyed the idiot leaning against the doorframe. “I thought I made myself clear on this topic. I’d rather fuck a porcupine than go out with you. Happy?”
“Ah ah ah! You promised your brother you’d behave.” I wanted to smack the smug grin off his face.
“Uh, no I actually didn’t. But nice try.”His face screwed up in concentration as he replayed the conversation he’d heard. I stalked over to him and jabbed a finger into his chest to make my point. “Never. Going. To. Happen. Got it?”
His face fell dramatically as he took a step backwards. His whole body seemed to deflate at my words.
“But…I mean-are you gay?”
I raised an eyebrow and fought to keep my mouth from falling open in shock. “Seriously?! So that’s the only possible reason I could have for not wanting to go out with you, much less sleep with you? Because I’m gay? Really? Even if I was, which I’m not, suggesting it as the only reason I want nothing to do with you only illustrates why I want nothing to do with you! Back the fuck off!”
I pushed past him and left him staring blankly at nothing in the hallway. Honestly, the nerve! Oh well, might as well see what drama is unfolding elsewhere in the house.
I gave Jason a nod as I passed him in the hall, his head pushed in close with Claudine as they whispered rapidly back and forth. Nope, not even gonna ask. With my luck, I’d get roped into something I wanted absolutely no part in.
Oh great! I let out a put upon sigh as I heard what could only be described as a ravishment taking place behind the closed door. Claude couldn’t drag Godric somewhere besides the room next door to where I was heading, could he? Nope. Let’s just drag out the torture a little longer. Fucking bastard!
I hesitantly pushed the door to Alex’s…chamber…open and nearly giggled. Which honestly would have been completely inappropriate, but totally justified.
Zoe was tugging on Eric and Lala’s hands to pull them away from trying to beat Alex’s ass. Their faces were screwed up in some kind of righteous rage while Sookie and Jesus lounged against the wall.
“Daddy! Daddy Lala! Don’t be mad at Princess Alex!”
Aw, she was adorable when she was trying to be a badass. Oh, and I totally needed to find a pair of those little flowered shorts in my size. So cute.
“Eric! Leave your brother alone.”
Oh shit. I don’t think they’d had an actual fight yet and Eric just shook off her more than obvious warning.
“Sookie, just stay out of it!”
Silence. Well, shit. Godric might have to cast a new leading man because I’m pretty sure Eric was about to be maimed in some unimaginable way.
A round of obnoxiously loud laughter sounded from the doorway behind me and I glanced over to see Claudine nearly collapsing in mirth.
“Baby Boy! Is that what I think it is?”
Zoe turned and beamed proudly at her ‘grandma’, which was honestly still a little weird to me, and clapped her hands excitedly. “Princess Alex made me a giraffe! Isn’t it awesome?!”
Claudine crossed the room and swept her up in her arms. “It’s beautiful, darlin’! Alex did a very nice job.”
Zoe preened as Alex laughed loudly from his spot on the couch and Claudine shot Eric a look of motherly rage. I didn’t catch whatever she mouthed his way, but I’m sure it wasn’t anything nice based on the brilliant shade of puce he was turning.
Lala had just opened his big ass mouth to say something probably completely inappropriate, but was cut off by a chuckle from the doorway. Seriously this house was like a train station!
“Well, aren’t you looking much more content , G-man? Have some fun, didja?” Alex wiggled his eyebrows in what even I’ll admit was a ridiculously amusing display as Godric ducked behind my brother.
“Of course he did! I mean, hello! This is me we’re talking about and, let’s face it, my darling isn’t exactly a novice or a slouch in be….that department.”
The collective room giggled, or chuckled in the case of the men because heaven forbid they be anything less than manly, while Eric and Lala worked themselves up again.
“Ooooooooo! Claude and Godric sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G!”
“Princess Alex! I already told you that you’re spelling it wrong!” Zoe wiggled her way down to the floor and Claudine covered her mouth with her hand to hide the laughter I could see in her eyes. Probably smart. That girl had fists of iron!
“And how would you know, missy?” He smirked. Damn that kid was trouble; amusing, much too young trouble.
“‘Cause I asked Daddy!” Eric seemed perplexed for a moment before Lala rounded on their partners.
“Youz did dis?”
Jesus at least had the sense to look slightly abashed, though anyone who knew him could tell that it was completely contrived. “So? She asked and I answered.”
Simple as that. And it was, at least for Jesus and Sookie. They didn’t handle Zoe with kid gloves and I groaned when I realized that now I’d probably have to handle Eric’s overprotective bullshit in addition to Lala’s.
“Alright then, tell me how to sing the song.”
“Mom, I think that high dollar education you’re paying for is crap. Especially if Alex is getting spelling lessons from a six year old.” Roman quipped as he entered the room and leaned against the wall beside me. He lowered his voice and leaned further toward me. “Is that what I think it is?”
“If what you think is that it’s a Minecraft penis, then yes it is.”
He let out a low whistle as we brought our attention back to the idiots in front of us.
“It goes like this: Someone and someone sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then come marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” Her little button nose wrinkled as glanced over her shoulder between Sookie and I. “I don’t get it. Do they hand out babies when someone gets married?”
I choked and snorted at her question as Sookie bent over to brace herself against her knees. Jesus ran his hand down his face and mock groaned as Roman and Claudine joined us in laughter. Eric and Lala were still glued to their spots, staring around at each of us in wide eyed horror.
I almost missed Alex’s grumbled “My song at least explains the babies.” which just set me off again.
“I’ll explain it when you’re older. Why don’t you go get Aunt Linda and help her make lunch?”
“Oh!” Roman straightened up beside me. “I forgot to tell you guys. Dermot and Linda went back to Aunt Neave’s. They said to say bye for them because they didn’t want to interrupt Lafayette’s histrionics.”
“Well that’s perfectly alright, huh Lovebug? You and I can go make lunch for everyone.” Claudine held a hand out and Zoe took it happily as she skipped out of the room, dragging the older woman in her wake.
As we waited for the sounds of her footsteps to disappear, Claude opened his mouth in his own supremely unhelpful way. “By the way, I forgot to tell you how amazing that is. Seriously Alex, it’s beautiful. So large and symmetrical and-”
Godric cut him off with a sharp smack to the stomach, which only made my idiot twin chuckle and wrap his arms around his boyfriend.
“Do you always have to be so abusive?”
“Do you always have to be such an instigator?”
“Oh, trust me. He’s being exceptionally well behaved right now.” I smirked and Claude sent an identical expression back at me.
“I didn’t exactly say I wanted him well behaved, did I?”
Lala’s infuriated squawk brought all our attention back to Captain Overreaction and his sidekick Exaggeration Boy.
“Just drop it, Lala. She’s obviously fine. No harm done.” Jesus sighed at his counterpart as Sookie nodded along.
“No! He’s going to corrupt our daughter! This is completely inappropriate! It’s scarring and wrong and….just wrong!” Eric stumbled over his words as his arms waved spastically, which I found highly amusing in someone who’s supposedly able to keep up with Sookie’s intelligence.
“Eric, you really need to let it go.”
Shit. Sookie had her scary voice on. Lala wisely backed off and crossed the room to pout in one of Alex’s massive beanbag chairs, but Eric either didn’t know-or didn’t have the common sense-to stop his tantrum.
Oh I was going to enjoy watching her lay his ass out.
“Sookie, you can’t actually condone this! She’s already asking about where babies come from and she’s around so much cursing it ridiculous and now Alex has gone and showed her how to create a huge fucking penis and-”
“Which she thought was a giraffe!” Sookie exploded off the wall and stepped forward to invade Eric’s space.
The ‘oh shit!’ look in his eyes was like nectar for my evil little soul.
“First of all, you’re the newest in our little parenting group, which I hate to point out because you are her Daddy. But you have to realize we’ve been doing this longer. Just because you can’t reconcile the fact that Jesus and I are much more relaxed about how we raise her, doesn’t mean you get to tell us we’re wrong!” His mouth opened for what was probably a completely idiotic rebuttal, but she slapped a hand over it to shut him up. “I’m not fucking done yet! She’s six fucking years old! She has no idea what she’s actually looking at! She knows not to say any ‘adult’ words she hears and will ask if there’s one she’s not sure of! She’s fucking six years old, for fuck’s sake! The bigger deal you make of it, the more she’s going to question if it’s an actual giraffe! She’s going to wonder why two of her daddies are so mad about a giraffe and she will start asking questions! Is that what you want?!”
“Well, no, but-”
“Nuh uh! No ‘buts’! I agree the picture isn’t exactly appropriate, but she has no idea what it is! It’s not like this has ruined her innocence or whatever misogynistic fucktarded shit you’re trying to spew! I can’t even fucking believe you’re making a mountain out of such a tiny fucking mole hill! Argh!” Her hands grasped at her hair, pulling the strands out of her ponytail. With wild eyes, she spun around and snarled at Lala. “Are you gonna fucking argue with me too?”
“No m’am. Iz dun said mah piece and youz made it clear where ya stand.” Jesus wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders and whispered whatever sweet platitudes he usually used in Lala’s ear. Fuck if I had any desire to know what that might be. It could scar little ol’ me for life!
I snorted at the voice in my head and waited for Sookie to calm down enough to talk again.
“Sook, are we done here? I-I mean…I’m not sure what just happened.”
She rounded on her boyfriend, her eyes wide and wild. No, he hadn’t learned a damn thing. Oh well, more amusement for me!
“You don’t know what just happened? You don’t fucking know what just happened?!” She really needed to learn not to yank her hair out when she got mad. It was a horrible habit and only resulted in breakage. “What just happened was you and Lafayette-” Oh shit, she never called Lala by his full name! “-just ruined a fucking awesome day with your little male chauvinist bullshit! You owe Alex an apology and you definitely owe me an apology because the way you seem to think you have rights to my daughter is ridiculously arrogant. And it will be something of a non issue if you keep this up because I will leave your ass so fucking fast you won’t believe it. Don’t test me on this. My only condition for starting this relationship was that you respect that I have a daughter and everything that goes with it. Ugh, God, I can’t even fucking look at you right now! Cut the shit and maybe you can apologize in the morning. Don’t even fucking think about coming to the pool house because I’ll beat your ass into the concrete. Understand?!”
Eric’s wide eyed nod and stricken expression just amused me more than I already was. I glanced over to Godric and Claude to see them fighting to hold back laughter at the spectacle Eric had started, but Sookie had indubitably finished.
I almost felt sorry for the jackass.
“Come on, Claudette. You’re sleeping in the pool house with Zoe and me tonight.” She spat the words as she stalked out of the room and I held my hands up in surrender as I followed.
I cannot believe what happened today. Seriously, could not fucking believe it.
Here I thought Eric was so fucking perfect and he’d done all the right things and said all the right words, but in the end he was just like every other fucking man on the planet!
“Now, you know that’s not true cuz.” I raised an eyebrow at Claudette and she shrugged. “You said that part out loud.”
Fuck, I can’t even function enough to keep my thoughts to myself.
“It’s okay. It’s been a rough day.” Shit, again?! “This was y’alls first real fight, wasn’t it?”
I nodded and grabbed another gooey s’more off the plate in front of us. Zoe was going to be pissed if she found out we made them without her.
“Yeah. I mean, we’ve had a couple arguments, but those weren’t anything big. I just wish-” I stopped and sighed again. “I just wish that he’d stop for a fucking minute and think about how he sounds. Like, I have no problem with Zoe calling him Daddy or him taking on that role. That is more than I ever thought would happen if I eventually found a partner. But…she’s my baby. I think I’d feel that way even if he was her biological father. He doesn’t trust me to know what’s best for her and that fucking hurts!”
“Maybe you should pop out another hellion and see how you feel. See if it’s different.”
She did not actually just suggest that Eric and I procreate as a fucking psychological experiment!
I sighed and tried to rub away the budding headache as I glanced at the digital clock on the stove. Fuck, already almost midnight. It’d been a very long day. “And on that disturbing and oh so ‘not going there’ thought, I’m heading to bed. You can have our-my room. I’ll sleep with Zoe. I need to snuggle her a little right now.”
“Alright cuz.” Claudette stood up and pulled me into a tight hug, which I couldn’t help but melt into. “It’ll all be better in the morning. I promise.”
I’m not sure I quite believed her, even as I made my way down the hall.
x . x . x . x . x
“CLAUDETTE!!!!” God damn, that hurt my vocal cords. She’d nearly vaulted out of the bed, remembering too late her lack of clothing. Nothing I hadn’t seen before but not exactly high on my list of things to see again. “This is how you keep your promise?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”
Her hair stuck up at odd angles as she slowly lowered herself to the bed again and shimmied down to snuggle…Thomas?
I was still dreaming. Or in a drugged hallucination. This could not possibly be real.
“Oh, but it is, love.”
Shit, they broke my brain and I wasn’t keeping my thoughts in my head again.
“I’m sorry you’re upset, Sookie, but I’m not sorry this happened.” She glared at the man who was showing off his naked chest, which happened to actually be quite appealing. No, no, not even going there.
“I thought-I mean…you said…wha??”
The smug bastard had the nerve to laugh at my dumbfounded expression. “She couldn’t resist my charms, what can I say?”
“It was more that tongue thing you do than your supposed charms.” She turned to me as she held the sheet to her chest, nearly vibrating in excitement. “Seriously, Sook! It’s marvelous. He does this thing where he wraps his tongue-”
“No! Nope, nuh uh, don’t want to hear it!” They smirked at each other as I backed toward the still open door. “I’ll just…I’m taking Zoe to the big house. You guys…just-take your time. And strip the bed when you leave because there’s no way I’m sleeping in whatever fluids you left behind!”
The smug laughter that followed me down the hall was enough to make me visibly cringe. This was an…unexpected turn of events and I kind of just wanted to forget about it.
“Zoe? Come on Doodlebug. Time to go see everyone.”
I giggled as she streaked by me to throw the front door open and sprint across the patio, so unencumbered by anything serious. Which is exactly how I wanted to keep her.