Present Day – December 2010
I drove down our street, anxious to get home to Sookie. Someone was having a party. There were a hell of a lot more cars than normal parked…everywhere. Thankfully, our driveway was clear and I pulled in quickly.
I unfolded myself from the car and began making my way towards the front door. Shrieking from the backyard had me veering around the side of the house. I pulled open the gate on the side of the house and stepped silently through. Thankfully I’d remembered to oil the hinges last week, so there were no squeaks to be heard.
I paused at the side of the deck, surveying the scene in front of me. Sookie had finally ‘forgiven’ my parents for forcing a pool on us and she now lazily watched the rest of the goings on with a small smile gracing her face. She shifted uncomfortably and I watched her face screw up in a pained grimace.
My attention was distracted when one of the backyard’s occupants noticed my spying and vaulted herself towards me and flung herself into my arms.
Mothers Day 2008
“Eric!” Sookie’s screech had me vaulting off the couch in a half asleep stupor and stumbling into our bedroom clumsily.
She ran wildly into the bedroom, something small clutched in her hand. She proceeded to shove that small piece of plastic under my nose.
“Tell me that says what I think it does!”
I blinked. Huh?
It was almost midnight, we had to be up early for her doctors appointment in the morning and she was screeching at me. All when I’d been nearly asleep in front of the TV. She’d have to forgive my confusion.
She shoved the thing in my hand and I noticed tears welling in her eyes. That snapped me right the fuck out of my haze. I grabbed her to me and kissed her softly, plastic forgotten.
“Sookie, what’s wrong love?”
The smile on her face confused me. So I glanced at the small piece of plastic. On the small digital face was the word ‘Pregnant’.
My mind was apparently stuck in an alternate reality. Maybe I’d fallen asleep and this was a dream.
“I’m dreaming, right?”
The smack Sookie delivered to my chest was definitely NOT in a dream. That shit hurt!
“If you are then so am I! I was taking the test to speed along the process with Ludwig tomorrow. Remember she told me I could do it at home instead of wasting time at my appointment?” I nodded mutely. “Well, I got a positive on the first one. But I figured it was a false positive. But then…”
She motioned to the open doorway of the bathroom and I peeked inside. There were probably twenty tests sitting on various flat surfaces, all with varying methods of displaying the affirmation that Sookie was in fact pregnant.
“Is that why you ran out of here in such a rush earlier? Your went to CVS, didn’t you?”
She nodded and her eyes glistened. “I…I had to be sure. I’m gonna have Ludwig test again tomorrow, just to be sure. Seriously, Eric! I just–“
She trailed off and gasped in a slight sniffle. My limbs finally decided to work and I wrapped her in my arms.
“Aren’t you happy, love? I thought you wanted this. Although I’m puzzled as to how it happened since you’re on the shot,” I felt my brow crinkle in confusion. After the last pregnancy fiasco Sookie had gone on birth control since Doc didn’t think Sookie could handle another miscarriage so soon.
“I am. I mean, I got it on time last month and I haven’t been on anything else…I don’t know. Do you think-I mean, do you think this will actually take? I don’t know if I could deal with another…ya know. Like before?” I nodded and kissed the crown of her head as she nuzzled into my chest. I hoped to hell we didn’t have to go through that ever again,
“We’ll take it one day at a time, okay?” I held her tighter. “We’ll tell Ludwig tomorrow and get an appointment with Reyes. You can make an appointment with Doc too if you want, just to head off any issues. Sound good?” I kissed her hair and my smile grew.
She nodded and pulled away from me with wide eyes.
“Eric. We’re gonna have a baby.” Her face lit up at the realization and I reminded myself how much I loved seeing her like this. She is so beautiful.
I laughed and grabbed her again, lifting her off her feet and spinning wildly in a circle.
“A baby! A baby! We’re going to have a baby!”
Our chant grew in volume until we both collapsed on the bed into fits of laughter, kissing in celebration.
January 20, 2009
“This is so FUCKING stupid!”
I wiped Sookie’s forehead with a cool washcloth and pressed a kiss lightly to her head.
“You’re on my shit list at the moment. Fucking asshole.”
I chuckled as she grumbled some more. Our precious bundle of joy, or Devil’s spawn as Sookie had taken to calling her, was very reluctant to leave the comfort of Sookie’s womb. As a result, we were now on day 3 of an induction. Sookie was NOT a happy camper.
“It’s almost over, love. I promise, before tomorrow we’re going to see our beautiful baby girl,” my heart jumped as I said the words, still not quite believing this was actually happening. I half expected to wake up and be disappointed that it was only a dream. However, the body aches from the God damned hospital furniture had returned, reminding me that this was not, in fact, a dream.
Dr. Hunter bustled into the room and checked Sookie yet again.
“Looks like that breakthrough pain was just what you needed. You’re almost there. Past 9,” she smiled and patted Sookie’s leg comfortingly.
Sookie gritted her teeth as more pain broke through her epidural. “Thank fuck!”
The doctor and nurses grinned and moved around, readying the room for the arrival of a new tiny person.
“Can you tell everyone for me?” She pleaded with wide eyes. “I feel so bad that they’ve just been sitting out there forever.”
As I pulled away to comply with her wishes, she clasped an iron grip on my arm, digging her nails into my skin painfully. “No! Text Pam!”
I sighed and returned to her side, pulling my phone out of my pants and mashing the appropriate buttons.
I went back to stroking her hair and pressing kisses to her face and neck whenever I could.
I sat there with my beautiful Sookie, my wife, waiting to give birth to my daughter. I couldn’t help but look back on how we got here and the many incredible twists and turns it’d taken. The love I felt for this woman was astounding. Not once since meeting her did I ever imagine my life without her in it. My stomach clenches as I realize how badly I could have fucked everything up. It seems like a different lifetime ago since I found her bleeding on the floor.
I took a deep breath. See us now, I felt my heart ache at the thought of not being exactly here right now, I loved this woman so much. We were a family. And, by some miraculous chance, we were adding to it.
A half hour later, Sookie’s hand shot out ninja quick and gripped my hand, jerking me out of my musings.
“Fuck! Shit, fuck shit–I have to push!”
Her face flushed red and I reached frantically to press the call button.
“Yes?” The disembodied voice inquired.
“Uh-Sookie says she needs to push…”
The intercom beeped and clicked off before I could finish so I really hoped they heard me. Whatever.
“Shhh, love. Not yet. Wait for the doctor,” I held her hand gently and pressed my lips to hers.
She panted and struggled to sit up a bit to relieve what I imagined was enormous pressure trying to escape her body.
Dr. Hunter breezed into the room, gloves already on and immediately went to check Sookie’s progress.
“You guys ready? It’s almost over,” the nurse was helping her into a yellow paper gown as she spoke and another nurse was adjusting Sookie’s bed. I helped scoot Sookie down so her ass was hanging almost off and lifted one leg into the stirrups as another nurse lifted the other. I felt like I was putting her on a torture rack. I almost chuckled, but thought better of it.
“Alright Sookie I need you to push with the next contraction, can you do that for me? No talking, just hold your breath and push.”
I was so glad in that moment for Dr. Hunter’s calm presence. Sookie nodded and her eyes cut up to mine, her brow furrowed in pain.
“I love you Sookie. You’re so much stronger than I could ever be,” the tears welled in my eyes as I spoke and I saw her eyes mist up in return.
And then she gasped as Dr. Hunter prompted her to start pushing.
Forty seven agonizing minutes later I watched as our daughter slid out of Sookie’s body. I gulped in air and grabbed Sookie’s hand, pressing an almost violent kiss to it as the doctor leaned up to place our little girl on Sookie’s chest.
“Are you going to cut the cord?”
I barely glanced at the nurse, but nodded. I stared in awe at the tiny little person covered in goop squawking away on Sookie.
We cooed over her tiny fingers and tiny toes as the doctor finished delivering the placenta-uh ew?-and cleaned Sookie up. Thankfully she didn’t tear, which I know she was afraid of.
The umbilical cord had stopped pulsing and the nurse came over to clamp it off so I could clip it.
I gripped the scissors, terrified that I would do something wrong. It didn’t matter that there was a clearly defined and clamped off area in which I was to snip. This little girl was counting on me and I didn’t want to let her down.
It was spongy and odd when I finally forced myself to wield the scissors and cut. I shivered a bit. That was entirely disconcerting and I gladly abandoned the task in order to return to my wife and daughter.
The baby had a sprinkling of barely discernible blonde hair-no surprise there given that we were her parents. Her tiny limbs were flailing around as Sookie propped her up against her.
“She sounds hungry. Try giving her a boob and then well clean her up,” a nurse piped up from the foot of the bed.
I helped Sookie shift so that she was sitting up a bit and grabbed another blanket from the table next to her bed to drape over the both of them.
With shaking hands, Sookie steadied the baby in the crook of one arm and lifted her breast to her mouth.
The baby nuzzled and sniffled before opening her mouth and latching on like a champ. Sookie’s face screwed up for a moment before she glanced up at me.
I just sat on the edge of the bed staring, in complete awe of the two beautiful females before me. I pressed a kiss to Sookie’s head and then leaned down to press one on the baby’s head, blood and goop and all.
“Does this little beauty have a name yet?”
Our heads shot up as the nurse spoke and we glanced at each other.
“You think?” She nodded her head down to look at the angel in her arms.
“She’d be thrilled. And I think it fits. But it’s your call. After all, I didn’t do much of anything here,” I smiled.
Sookie smirked indulgently and turned to face the nurse.
“Pamela Michaela Northman.”
“It’s beautiful,” the nurse remarked as she jotted the name down on some paperwork. “Congratulations you guys. I’ll leave you alone. Just push the call button when you’re ready for them to clean her up.”
We nodded in acknowledgement, but neither of us could seem to tear our gaze away from Pam.
“Thank you, love. I have no idea why you chose me, but I will be eternally grateful that you did. And there’s nothing in this world that I could ever give you that could compare to this beautiful miracle that you’ve given me. Thank you,” the tears spilled over onto my cheeks, prompting Sookie to begin crying as well.
As Pam nursed and drifted into her milk coma, Sookie and I just stared at our daughter.
My heart burst with pride and love just thinking about it. We have a daughter.
May 20, 2010
“Just take the damn test Sookie!”
With Pam on my hip and my arm outstretched, I waved the pregnancy test I was holding at my extremely stubborn wife.
“Why? We know what it’s going to say. Seriously, this is stupid. I just have the flu,” Sookie allowed her arm to flop over her eyes and sighed from her sprawled out position in our bed.
“No, you think you know what it’s going to say. After all Dr. Reyes was wrong once, he can be wrong again. Just take the fucking test!”
“Dada. Ba wood.”
Rolling my eyes and kissing her forehead, I nodded at my daughter.
“Yes, baby. Bad word. Daddy’s sorry. Can you go play for a little bit so daddy can talk to momma?”
When she nodded affirmatively, I set her down gently and Pam toddled off to play in her room. It’s still hard to believe that she was almost 18 months old. She talked early and walked a little bit after. And every day since she’d been getting sturdier on those gangly little legs that looked more suited to a 3 year old.
“Sookie, love,” I sat next to her on the bed and let my hand trail gently over her stomach. “You’ve been sick for two weeks. You’re tired. You’re constantly hot. If you’re NOT pregnant then we need to find out what IS wrong. You need to get better.”
She sighed and shot me the stink eye. “Fine.”
Sookie huffed and slowly sat up. She pondered for a moment before her eyes bulged and she bolted for the bathroom, where I heard the sounds of her retching.
I sighed and grabbed the test, making my way into the bathroom.
She stood shakily and I handed her a stick of gum. She raised her eyebrow.
“Brushing right after throwing up spreads around the stomach acid and rots your teeth.”
Sookie began chewing and unwrapped the test before sitting down to pee.
“I can’t believe you actually think I’m pregnant. I’m not a complete fucktard with birth control, ya know. That’s the beauty of the damn ring…no fucking shit like the shot,” Sookie’s grumbles were mildly adorable since I knew in about a minute she’d be shocked into silence.
I have no idea how I knew it with such certainty, but I did.
She capped the test and set it on the counter next to her before finishing up and coming to bury her head in my chest.
“Now you got me thinking. And I don’t honestly know how I’ll react with whatever result we get. I mean-I want more. But we knew Pam would probably be the only one we’d have. It was a miracle that we got her. I just…fuuuuuuuuck,” she sniffled and I bit back a groan. I hated it when she cried.
A minute later I nudged her gently.
“Time to look.”
She gulped in a breath and looked up at me pleadingly.
“You look. I can’t.”
I released her from my arms and stepped over to the sink. I felt my face break into a huge grin as I picked it up.
“Sook.” I spun around to see her sitting on the edge of our massive tub hunched over her knees with her head in her hands.
I crossed the bathroom quickly and knelt in front of her.
“Look at me love.” She shook her head silently. I chuckled and pried her hands away from her face, raising her eyes to mine. “You’re pregnant.”
“You’re pregnant,” I nuzzled softly into her hair, pressing kisses all over her face. I brought my lips right next to her ear, licking her softly. “I told you so.”
With a yelp, I darted away from her as she tried to chase after me, whacking at me. She dissolved into a weird combination of giggly sobs and I immediately scooped her up in my arms,
“We’re having another baby,” she sighed and rested her forehead against mine.
“Who gets to tell Pam?”
We stared at each other for a moment.