The Howler

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“You open it.”

“Why?! It’s from your mother! Why do I need to open it?!”

Fred raised an eyebrow at his wife across the table. “Does your mum know what a howler is, love?”

“Touche.” Hermione pursed her lips and glared at her husband. “We’ve been married two days and you’re already shirking your husbandly duty to protect me!”

A barking laugh burst from his lips at her words and he stood to round the table. He yanked her up, only to pull her back down on his lap. “Well, we mustn’t have that now. Come on. If we don’t open it soon, it’ll be worse.”

Hermione sucked in a breath as she stared at the scarlet envelope lying innocuously on the kitchen table. “Not if we don’t touch it.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’ve faced dementors and Dark Lords and opening a bookshop, but you’re scared of a little howler from Mum. Pull up those courage lined panties of yours, my brave little Gryffindor!”

“This coming from the man who literally threw me to the wolves in the wake of your last prank.” She slapped him lightly on the arm as he laughed. “It’s not funny!”

“Yes it is. That was brilliant”

“I’m never letting you watch Muggle TV again. Honestly!”

“How was I supposed to know she was going to take them to that crazy old bat?!”

“Covering onions in caramel and passing them off as apples is just cruel!”

They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter, her arms winding around his neck as they sagged against each other. As they quieted, Fred glanced at Hermione, his expression soft and loving as it swept over the lines of her face.

“You are so beautiful.”

Her cheeks flushed that gorgeous pink he loved so much and she smiled shyly at him. His hand found the back of her neck, calloused fingers tangling in her messy hair as he brought her lips to his.

This was all he’d ever wanted and everything he never thought he’d have. The past three days had been magical in a way that had nothing to do with wands or spells.

Fred couldn’t remember a time he’d felt more complete, more right. And now it quite literally was about to go up in smoke as that damn red envelope began vibrating.

“Promise me you won’t leave me after this?” Hermione pulled back slightly to gaze into her husband’s eyes, the teasing lilt of his words unable to mask the insecurity he tried to suppress.

“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. You couldn’t get rid of me when we weren’t an official couple, what makes you think I’d let you go now?” His answering grin faltered slightly as the envelope began smoking. “Bugger. You do it!”

He groaned, first in annoyance, then in pleasure as her lips teased his neck in a perfect distraction. Blindly he fumbled on the table in front of him, pausing only momentarily to brace himself. The he broke the seal.

“FREDERICK GIDEON WEASLEY! How dare you get married without telling us! Why in the name of Merlin did you think we’d have a problem with it? We all love that girl and it’s high time you pulled your head out of your arse and made it official! I expect to see you both at Sunday dinner. We’re having shepard’s pie.”

The pair sagged in relief as the screeching died off. Their lips coming together softly until-

“Oh! And Hermione dear, is it too early to start asking about grandchildren?”

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