Chapter 1: The Bakery Incident

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The first time she caught him blushing was before they were even together. He had taken Henry out for the day, letting her and David clean up the mess left after defeating Zelena.

As she wiped sweat from her forehead, Emma heard a grunt and a crash. Her head whipped around, seeing an aluminum trash can roll out of the alley next to the bakery. She narrowed her eyes as she focused on the shadows moving in the fading daylight.

She rolled her eyes, threw the fractured piece of wood on the pile she’d created, and stomped over to the mouth of the alley.

Her anger immediately evaporated as she took in the scene before her. Henry’s eyes whipped over to her as she let out a barking laugh. He looked up at the pirate hanging out the window, eyes wide and panicked, then back to his mother.

“It was his idea!”

“Oy! Who are you talking to lad? This is a covert mission, remember!”

Emma bit her tongue to stop herself from collapsing in laughter. Killian’s legs dangled out of the window with quite a few feet between him and the wooden box he’d obviously used to boost himself. Those booted feet bobbed and kicked, trying to gain purchase on a nonexistent springboard. His hips shifted uncomfortably as he tried to wiggle himself out of the half open window that had clearly gotten stuck.

“Trapped there, are you, pirate?”

Those feet froze as a sharp gasp came from inside the dark bakery.

“I’m just gonna go help grandpa…” Henry’s voice wavered with concealed laughter as he jumped from his own box and raced around the end of the alley.

“Traitor! See when I take you out on the Jolly now!” Killian’s lower half went slack as she imagined his upper half did as well as he dangled limply from the window.

“So…whatcha doin?” Emma crossed her arms and cocked her hip to the side, smiling at the leather-clad ass she had never taken the time to admire before. It was really a delicious looking bottom, if she did say so herself.

“Well, love, the lad and I had an idea. But as you can see, we ran into a complication,” he huffed in annoyance. “And now that the jig is up, perhaps you could lend a poor old pirate a hand, hum?”

“Wait, just a minute…” she muttered as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and pressed the screen wildly to pull up the camera app. After a moment, she centered her shot and snapped the picture. At the sound of the shutter, which Henry had gotten him quite familiar with as of late, he started flailing around again.

“Swan! I demand to see the photograph! No! I demand you erase it! Now!” His indignant tone just made her laugh all the harder as she shoved the phone back into her pocket.

“Not a chance, pirate! That’s all mine. I think I’ll set up a Facebook account just so I can post that,” Emma giggled lightly as she stepped up onto the box underneath his legs. Looking intently at his backside one more time, she decided to give it a swat.

Her hand fell heavily on his superbly leather-clad ass with a crack, and he jolted in the window frame.

“What the bloody hell, Swan?!?”

“Just had to feel it for myself. I mean, it’s pointing right at me and everything.” Her cheeks hurt from her grin as she braced her foot and tried to shove the window up in the frame, and grunted when it didn’t move whatsoever. “Good lord, maybe you should lay off Granny’s pie,” she quipped.

“I will have you know that I am in better physical shape than most men. Life on a ship is quite the workout!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Porky,” she giggled once again as she struggled to finally move the window about a quarter of an inch. “How tightly are you wedged in….and not your painted-on pants, either.”

Killian huffed again and wiggled experimentally. “I supposed I’ve got a small amount of leeway. Let me see…”

Emma heard a scrape as she imagined him bracing his hand and his hook on the inside wall. His hips shifted marginally as he tried to pry himself loose.

“Here, let me push.”

Emma braced her hands on his ass, giving a nice hearty squeeze and laughing at his feeble protest, before she threw her weight forward. They stalled for a second, time freezing as the window creaked. Then with a grunt, a yelp, and a crash, Killian was through the window and sprawled inside the bakery.

Emma hoisted herself up, sticking her head through the window to see him upside down, his neck crunched at an odd angle, and his legs splayed upside down with his magnificent ass once again face up and on display.

He grunted as he slid along the tile, then straightened himself out. The security light from the alley kicked on in the encroaching darkness, shining like a spotlight into the window and onto the crumpled pirate.

“Hard night, huh?” Emma smiled again as Killian looked up at her, a red blush creeping up his chest and onto his face.

“You could say that, love. I, uh – I’ll just…use the front door,” he mumbled as he stumbled to his feet, shaking his head once as he braced his hook on a stainless steel shelving unit.

Emma began ducking her head to leave the alley when she heard another spectacular crash. She jolted upright and hauled herself up on the window sill again, positively beaming when she took in the scene before her.

Killian was sprawled across the tile floor once again, the cart he’d leaned on still rolling, with hundreds of crumbled cookies littered on and around him. He looked up at her sheepishly, quickly brushing a chocolate chip off his nose as she snapped another quick picture.

“That cart rolls, doesn’t it?”

His withering look was somewhat tempered with the incredible ruby glow highlighting his extraordinarily handsome face.

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