Chapter 2: Scurvy Dog

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“Come on, you scurvy dogs!” A snort of laughter burst out of the living room as Emma crept quietly in the front door.

The click of sharp nails on their brand new hardwood floors made her grimace, but she immediately perked up once she poked her head around the corner.

Their older dog, Jolly, sat on her haunches with her large brown eyes following the action. Emma whistled lowly, Jolly’s ears perking up as her head whipped around and her tail started thumping.

With a snort in the direction of the “action”, Jolly laid on her stomach and began army crawling over to Emma’s hiding spot.

With a thump, Emma’s eyes returned to her husband jumping off the back of the couch with their new puppy, Roger, in his arms.

“Avast, mateys! I shall run your captain through with my trusty blade and ye shall forever bow to me!”

With a yip, Roger jumped from his arms and sprawled clumsily over the floor, paws skittering as he tried to gain purchase to chase his daddy.

Killian lunged dramatically at the upright lamp in the corner, dodging swiftly back and forth, parrying with an invisible sword as Roger yapped at his feet.

With a sharp dart to the left, he spun around the lamp, nearly tripping over Roger.

“Oy, mate! Keep out of yer Captain’s way boy! Or ye shall find yerself walking the plank!”

With a huge smile, Killian knelt down and ruffled the dogs head. “This is where you grovel for the Captain’s favor.”

The stage whisper was just loud enough for Emma to hear. Jolly snuffed out a laugh at her owner’s ridiculousness and nuzzled into Emma’s thigh.

“Alright girl. Let’s go for a walk.”

x . x . x . x . x

Two weeks later, Emma found herself trudging home from a freak gutter incident down at the station that had left her soaked to the bone.

Her steps slowed as she approached the door to the loft, listening through the door as she heard a shout of triumph and a dramatic whine from a dog.

She eased her key into the lock, slowly clicking the tumblers and slipped inside. She shucked her boots by the door, tiptoeing silently down the hall, peeking around the door frame into the living room.

Her hand flew to her mouth to contain her laughter. Killian was perched on the back of the sofa in full pirate regalia, his cutlass in his hand. One of her old sheets was strung up in the corner of the room.

But what made Emma nearly lose her hold on the laughter threatening to bubble up was the dogs.

Jolly had a “skirt” draped around her back end and what looked like a detached mophead on her head. She peered balefully out from under the “hair” at Emma, silently begging for this charade to end.

Roger, on the other hand, had a foam sword clutched in his mouth and was slowly army crawling towards Killian.

With a low ‘woof’, Killian appeared dramatically startled and hopped down, his boots clattering on the wooden floors.

“Oy! Ye shall not steal my fair lass! Be gone, you scurvy dog!”

His hand waved in a complicated pattern and Roger jumped to his hind legs, waving the sword around. He yipped out a shrill series of barks, dropping into a growl towards the end.

Emma whipped her phone out, pulling up the camera as Killian lunged towards Roger. She stifled a gasp, fearing for their newest familial addition. She should have known better though.

With another complicated hand movement from Killian, Roger dodged to the side, rolling over and spitting his sword out. He darted around Killian, who stumbled in an extremely fake manner, and launched himself at Jolly, pinning her to the floor.

Roger howled out a gleeful cry and Jolly snorted out a huff.

Killian’s head hung low as he sprawled out dramatically. “Oh! The cruel fates have stolen my woman and my ship! What’s a poor pirate to do?!?” His arm flung over his eyes as he spoke, followed by a short sniffle.

Emma bit her tongue. This was way too funny. Now she knew how he spent his days while she was at work.

Roger yipped out a short bark and Killian peeked out from under his arm. “Ah, so ye caught me.”

He leapt to his feet as Roger sprang to his, letting Jolly up. She scampered quickly toward Emma, clearly eager to escape the boys and their game.

“Ye’ll never best me!”

Emma watched as Killian and their dog bounced around the living room, swinging their swords at each other, Roger occasionally dropping his to sound out another “battle cry”.

Finally, their sparring drew to a close as Killian lunged dramatically once again, covering Roger with his long leather jacket.

When they finally parted, Emma couldn’t hold back her laughter anymore. It bubbled out joyously as she stared at her husband, their dog in his arms, sporting a plastic hook over one paw and an eyepatch.

“Emma! I-uh…didn’t know you’d be home so soon, love,” his face flushed scarlet as he gently set Roger down. The puppy stumbled with the hook and Killian bent to yank it off his paw, surreptitiously hiding it in the folds of his coat.

Emma rounded into the living room, peeling her wet shirt off her body as she went. Killian’s eyes bugged out of his head, clearly not expecting this turn of events.

“Well Captain. Since it looks like your other lady love has run off, maybe you’d make due with me?” she quirked her eyebrow up as a deliciously wicked grin formed on his face.

“Aye, love. I think I have more plundering to do!”

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7 thoughts on “Chapter 2: Scurvy Dog

    1. Here’s the deal…when we FIRST started talking about this story and all the funny it could contain I was scoping google for hotness of huge Colin variety. And I saw those two pics and was like “Lightbulb!!!!” So yeah. That’s the story behind this one. :)


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